My Story

*Please note, reading may cause activation* 

 

Born into a long lineage of Black American educators and preachers, I grew up surrounded by consistent rituals of worship. Faith was familiar and so was emotional pain. 

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As a child I was bullied for my weight and appearance and as a teen my self worth was maligned. I sought validation from dangerous people. By 17, I had experienced several accounts of dating violence and experienced constant cycles of abuse and addiction throughout my young adult life. Rejection and hopelessness plagued so much of my life but a lot of it went unnoticed because I learned how to stay busy and hide my pain. 

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After graduating college, I ran around New York City working in fashion houses and music labels, trying to solidify my career as an entertainment journalist. 

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In 2011, depressed, broken and fearful I considered ending my life. On this day, I had a spiritual encounter and I soon quit the gigs and “rededicated my life to God.” I experienced much healing and joy.  

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My wandering led me back to my parents' home where I spent the summer reading the Bible. I was convinced in my heart that I’d find my “purpose,” in the sacred book. I went to a theological institution and worked my way through serving vulnerable youth and children in shelters and convalescent centers. 

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In 2015, I earned the degree, traveled leading worship and worked in several ministries. 

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In 2020, I thought that I would do this all my life until the pain cut too deep to hide. I fled Chicago, where the heaviness was palpable from America’s summer of reckoning. I began my journey divesting from white evangelicalism and its harmful doctrine. Sick and tired of the years of hustle. Sick of the business of church, sick of broken promises in relationships….

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Racism. 

Sexism. 

Misogynoir.

Spiritual abuse. 

Grief. 

Dating Violence.

I quit.  

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I made my way back home where I began to work as an intimate partner abuse counselor, the same place I served and found healing as a young adult woman years prior. I cried with women who had been trafficked. I did deep breathing alongside them. I helped them process the shadows and their dark soul of the night. I found this work deeply fulfilling and healing. As I embarked on another dimension of my life and healing journey in this season, I then experienced more heartache, vicarious trauma and violence. 

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My body popped. 

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In the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune. My body had been speaking for a while but this time, I was listening closely. Stress, generational trauma and the pandemic's impact took a toll on me. I began to do more healing work. I also had to slow down and I work through trauma lodged in my body. 

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This was a catalyst moment. Receiving a chronic illness diagnosis changed everything for me and I fiercely devoted myself to healing my mind, body and spirit on a deeper level. 

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Leaning into wellness and mindfulness is a daily practice of mine that I flow in unashamed and authentically. I have found much freedom as I study and lead breathwork sessions, deepen my meditation practice, converse with safe communities and consume womanist and liberation literature. I will always be a student of life. Today, I rest. Today, I meditate. Today, I hold space for us to live liberated.